My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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