My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
