I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
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