just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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