So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
