Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
