im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
