so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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