butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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