i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
