No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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