The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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