were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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