Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
