you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
