Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
