I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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