i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
