I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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