So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
