craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize