i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize