i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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