talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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