you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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