my phone needs a breathalizer
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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