i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
