So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
