Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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