what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
