haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The struggles of a small town man whore
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize