We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He did a backflip because drugs
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
