i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
