I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Four minutes until I can fart!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
