MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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