Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
