He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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