we should wear snuggies to the strip club
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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