Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
