You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
