i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
