Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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