But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
