so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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