If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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