No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we're making bets on your personal life
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
