Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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