i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
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she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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