will power is for people who don't want to get laid
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
