btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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