even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
