I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
