my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
