Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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