I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
