My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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