I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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