I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
whose parrot is this?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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