I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
