Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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