i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
