I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I want to fling myself into the sun
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
